Meanwhile, Back at the Homestead. . .

Though I’m a little behind on posting about my travels (read two months behind), my failure to write it all down doesn’t mean I haven’t been busy. In fact, I have long suspected my MFA friends and fellow graduates are way ahead of me in getting the practical experience of working in the field. Almost all of them are either on to PhD programs, or are teaching poetry and writing workshops, or working in schools. So I’m somewhat of a fuckup. By now, I should already have obtained the teaching experience needed. I should already know how to design lesson plans from the ground up. (And perhaps with a little more self-confidence, I could do that just fine. Hey, I’m working on it.) After obtaining my Masters, I was working in the corporate world, though. I was giving presentations about statistics to a group of nurses, not teaching young minds how to write poetry, or even read or analyze it. But after I lost my job with the man, and after the traveling was done, the dust began to clear and I thought, “Oh my, here I am, nowhere again.” I end up sitting around with a lot of time on my hands. But during that time, I dream about all the things that are possible. It doesn’t take me long to begin searching for a niche for my particular talents. Which of course means asking myself the question,” What ARE my particular talents?” So, okay, this isn’t a question that I can answer in just one day. I have a completely random set of skills. Most of them aren’t exactly quantifiable. Firstly, I’m good at taking random, often disparate elements and finding out how they relate. Some call that “interdisciplinary.” And I’m an optimist. That means I can usually take a great big pile of miscellaneous pieces and parts and make something out of it. Metaphorically speaking, anyway. I’m shit with fixing things. Also, I can be motivating. Sometimes I find it really easy to get people to want to do things. And I’m dynamic. But those are usually things you can’t put on your resume. A CV maybe, but not a resume. Anyway, my point is, taking this unique set of abilities and putting them to work for me is a tad harder than I like. I make calls. I have been trying to get people in the local community to let me do workshops for students. I have one offer to do a workshop in November, which is cool. I am trying to work out another one at a place called Childhaven, essentially an orphanage, or haven for children who can’t live at home for various reasons. I should hear about that soon. I also signed up with Volunteers in Public Schools, a group that mentors to at-risk children in the area. I’ll soon have my own child to advocate for. In the process of doing this, I also will be working with two teachers at the local school, watching them managing their classrooms and working with the children on group activities. I’ll get to see firsthand some of the skills teaching requires at work. I also have been looking into doing a PhD program of my own. The first thing that caught my eye is the interdisciplinary PhD at the University of Alabama. Then I found out about the Social and Cultural Studies in Education PhD at the University. I still don’t know if I’ll be able to afford any of it, but it’s something I really really really want to do. The problem is, in between me making all these phone calls and trying to find someone who will allow me to actually put my ideas into action, it’s a lot of waiting around. I’m afraid that my ideas will once again come to nothing despite my persistence to the contrary. And here I am again, feeling like I’m on the edge of something, not quite knowing if it will ever come to pass.


~ by ImaginaryCanary on October 4, 2011.

One Response to “Meanwhile, Back at the Homestead. . .”

  1. I know in a lot of ways our situations have been different, our paths have been much different, and moving at different rates. Despite that though, I have dealt with those same thoughts and feel I understand exactly where your mind is right now. In some ways I am still in that place, though I feel much closer to what I want out of life then I have ever before. I think you are doing what you should be though, you shouldn’t be comparing yourself to others. Your path is different then theirs, as all of ours are. If you spend too much time looking to see where someone else path goes, you may very well lose track of where yours is going. (Cheesy sounding I know, but the soul of the message is good)

    I truly believe that as you follow the plan the universe has in store for you, what your true self wants, you feel more fulfilled and you get what you need and want out of life… You may or may never be rich, or famous, or a #1 Best selling Author, but I bet you will be happy and fulfilled if you stay true to your heart.

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