Open Letter to the Shire of Glynn Rhe

Robert! Excellent mail. Felt like I lived through the event all over again. And gosh did we ever have fun! The fighting was the most enjoyable I’ve seen in some time. I enjoyed throwing things, per the usual, and seeing a bunch of grown  men in tiny boats! I had a grand time defending that cute blonde girl from those lascivious vikings with nothing but a kitchen knife. The insults could have been better, but the table-clambering bar fight made up for people’s obvious lack of being able to properly insult people they respect. (I found your insults, Robert, particularly and delightfully nasty, and look forward to matching wits with you sometime in the future. But I will warn you never to get into a battle of wits with a Sicilian when DEATH is on the line!) The food was indeed spectacular. I haven’t had a feast that good in some time! Perhaps even since the last Mead List I went to probably over eleven years ago. And salmon in a pastry!! Who knew? My cousin Jeff/Snurrie/Bjorn/Flavius Phallus had a spectacular time and now wants to bring his friends. Ah young people. My axes had a wonderful time being lobbed far distances by so many manly (and hairy) vikings, they are still quivering about it. And I am now ten pounds heavier from all the food and whiskey sours. I hope I did not get too obnoxiously drunk even though I almost committed the alcohol abuse of spilling a beer (the beer thanks Seth for saving it from an untimely demise). I was sad I did not get to beat the monk pinata, he obviously deserved it. I was granted a front-row seat to the fighter-card tearing and learned all the benefits of using a center-grip oval in place of a teardrop. I feel enlightened. Except for the ten pounds. I ate all that chocolate money and threw the rest at some people’s heads, or other things I might or might not have been aiming at. Yes, I throw like a girl. I do other things like a girl, too, but no one ever complains about those. Anyway, thanks for a fantastic event, Glynn Rhe, and for  making me feel welcome after so long a time away.

YIS,

Lady Elianora Feverel
(with greetings from my cousin Flavius Flava Flav, whose birthday today is.)

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~ by ImaginaryCanary on February 8, 2012.

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